Since I have committed myself to an Apologia …

do I want this published for all to know? Bollox, I lay myself bare

[Of course, you don’t have to read)

I AM REDUCED TO NOTHING, A WORTHLESS ALCOHOLIC

I AM TORMENTED

I am tormented. Now that I’ve committed to an Apologia, I look to my childhood and I am reduced to tears. There is no more alcohol left tonight to hide me from the torment that I endured. I’m talking pissed. The point is that I was not loved nor cared for. There was no-one. A child with nobody to care for him or her.

Edit: That’s why I’m so hard, that’s why I’ve been able to take so many attacks. That’s why I don’t have to rely on anyone. That’s why I’m so independent and resilient.

[further edit: Was there two issues going on back then? A scandal for the tabloids a year or so after Profumo. But was there more? A dog maybe?

[Aug 64

[64 was a leap year …

[a leap year means one more day to the end of the year …

[Lucky I didn’t say the people I wanted dead …

Hugo Chavez,

I respect you so much for bringing  Venezuela to Socialism.

Viva la revolution, sir.

The point is there are so many people watching this.

Senior Chavez, I repect you. Viva le Revolution

[Sorry about bring you in this good friend;

I need to sort it out myself

This ridulosness that people persist it

Viva la revolution

… It’s not coming soon and may be six months or so …

It’s about me and what these bastards have done to me.

It’s about being forced from being very withdrawn to [having to] defend myself so publicly.

It’s about bastards.

There is an issue conerning Cyn’, – an apostraphe means something is missing – that is now a major issue in UK. I acknowledge that there are concerns about credibility. I submit that I have previously raised my concerns discretely and that I hoped that they would be treated as such. There is the related issue that others did not raise any concerns despite having quite obvious in-your-face concerns of abuse. I am not the one out of order here. I was concerned of paedophile abuse and I acted on that concern.

There is a huge difference between that and claiming to happen across a very fat – in fact rotund – man with a pre-pubescent boy in bed together.  I did not recognise that rotund man at the time but I have since recognised him. There are references to child abuse at the previous highest levels of UK legal profession. Blair & Co

[edit You heard it on the web first: Falconer]

In a democratic society the point is that freedom of speech is central. It is not relevant how powerful or effective that speech is. Conversely, the more powerful and effective that speech is, then the better that the state is challenged. Governments should be challenged. It is not relevant that such challenges are effective [or not] – that’s the very idea of democracy.

deep